Runtu : Sometimes / http://proza.ru/2023/11/26/820 / loving your companion means that you keep yourself from punching him in the nose. If all you can do is put up with him, that’s loving him.
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It’s not easy to be with someone every day, all day and all night, but that’s how it was.
Grolsch and I, as companions,
were supposed to be together all the time,
presumably to keep each other focused on
missionary work and out of trouble.
Days began at 6:30, when we would shower and then head over to the cafeteria for breakfast.
Mealtimes were pretty difficult because Marie worked as a server in the cafeteria, and without fail I would end up in her line.
She would usually say little more than “Hello, Elder,”
but she would smile, and made me think of how much
I wanted to be with her.
But it wasn’t the time or place for such thoughts,
and I would hurry on to eat breakfast and start the day’s study.
Classes began at 7:30 with Elder Foote telling us, “Hagan un buen semicirculo” (put the chairs in a semicircle).
We spent most of the day learning Spanish, with some time dedicated to memorizing the discussions.
We also had a thick stack of white note cards, each of which was printed with a different scripture we were supposed to memorize.
Most of us punched holes in the cards and put the entire stack on a metal ring that we clipped to our belt loops.
Most days the missionaries in line in the cafeteria would be focused on the stack, busily memorizing.
At lunchtime I would often see Marie again and then sit and mope at a table while everyone else was either chatting or memorizing.
The food was pretty much the same as the BYU dorm food, so I really didn’t enjoy it and didn’t usually eat much.
After lunch it was back to the classroom until dinner time.
If we stopped paying attention or simply felt the effects of long hours and not that much sleep, Haver would start yelling “Gritar!”
(the Spanish word for shout)
and expect us to yell it back at
him until we were wide awake again.
The time there was incredibly stressful for me,
and I started this weird nervous tick.
When I was memorizing something, I would “write” it in cursive on the desk with my index finger.
Haver pointed it out to me several times, but I couldn’t stop.
“Maybe it’s just helping you learn the discussions,” he said.
“I don’t think it’s a big deal.”
I never did that again after I left the MTC.
The evening “P and R” sessions were less structured, with only a brief formal lesson at the beginning.
The rest of the time, Elder Curtis would help us one on one with our studies. Grolsch would always turn his desk toward the wall and practice giving the discussions to a cinderblock.
If we volunteered to help him, or if we asked him to listen to our practice, he always ignored us and stayed with his wall-gazing.
P and R ended at 9:30, and then we had
a brief prayer and spiritual thought in
the commons area of our dorm floor.
Each night we were to be in bed at 10:30, and though I had often stayed up late in college, it was no problem for me to go to bed that early.
I was almost always physically and mentally exhausted when it was time to go to bed, and I would fall asleep rather quickly.
I discovered early on that Grolsch was determined to be the hardest-working missionary of all of us.
Most nights he would stay awake until 1:00 or so, and then he would be out of bed, clomping across the floor in his “Forward Thrust” shoes by 4:30.
He was going to out-study all of us if it killed him.
I knew that what he was doing was against the MTC rules,
but I figured it wasn’t worth making a fuss about.
He was particularly proud of his work ethic, and if someone made a mistake in class, he would roll his eyes and say something like “It’s obvious some people aren’t working as hard as others.”
He constantly “corrected” our pronunciation, insisting that his rural Idaho accent was the proper way to say it.
By the end of the first week, I wanted to beat the crap out of him.
Sometimes in the evenings before lights out, four of us from our little class—me, Gonzales, Michaels, and Lynn—would sit and talk.
Justice would just go and lie on his bed, ignoring us, and Grolsch, of course, was busy studying.
Gonzales was a fairly recent convert to Mormonism, having been in his younger days in a Puerto Rican gang in Brooklyn.
We thought he was joking until he showed
us the knife scars on his back and side.
He had grown up speaking a sort of bastardized street Spanish, and it was really difficult for him to have to remember the more formal structure of the language.
I couldn’t imagine this really sweet man ever being in a knife fight. I thought he was one of those “salt of the earth” types.
“How are you getting along with Grolsch?” Lynn asked me one night. “I think I’d kill him if he was my companion.”
“Oh, he’s OK,” I lied. “He’s just a little different.” I had been feeling so guilty for not liking Grolsch.
Every day they kept telling us that we needed to love our companion if we wanted to have the Spirit and be effective missionaries.
I hated mine, and I felt so guilty about it.
I knew I was never going to have the Spirit with me.
Monday was “preparation day,” or “P-day.”
This was the day set aside to write letters, clean our room, and do our laundry.
A lot of missionaries would go to University Mall to go shopping on P-day, but we had been warned against it.
“Do not be tempted to go to La Plaza de la Universidad, the branch president said one evening in solemn tones.
Remember, it can truly be La Plaza de Iniquidad (“Iniquity Mall”) for you.
I couldn’t figure out why a mall would be such a sinful place, but other than picking up my hideous suit from Mr. Mac, I obeyed and stayed away from the mall.
On P-days Grolsch would sometimes vanish for two or three hours at a time.
We would be walking down the hall as a group, and suddenly he would be gone.
He would show up later, saying only that he had needed some time to himself.
“Shouldn’t I say something to someone?” I asked the others.
“No, don’t do that. I don’t think he’s getting into trouble,” said Lynn. “Besides, if you rat him out, they might send him home, and you don’t want that.”
So, I said nothing but just endured the constant barrage of self-righteousness. Given the constant pressure to confess unresolved sins, I went to the branch president and confessed that I really couldn’t stand Grolsch.
“Just pray for that love to come, and it will,” he said.
I wasn’t so sure.
A few weeks in, my sister’s boyfriend came to the MTC,
fresh from his mission in Korea.
He said he had come to offer me any
advice or help he could.
“Jim, I hate my companion, and I feel so bad about it,” I said, unable to look him in the eye.
“They say you can’t have any success as a missionary if you don’t love your companion, and I really don’t love mine.”
He laughed. “If that were true,
I never would have had any success on my mission.
Sometimes loving your companion means that you
keep yourself from punching him in the nose.
If all you can do is put up with him, that’s loving him.”
I was so relieved.
I knew I could put up with Grolsch
but developing a genuine love—even
liking him—was simply impossible.
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